– Trusted Shop Review

Photo of headquarter
Alpha Chain BV Gouda: The office (© Google Street View)
PS: The logo inserted is misleading. Not house number 5 but house number 7 he registered his companies with. My mistake, sorry.

The Age of Instagram: Beautiful photos, a perfect selfie during sunset, a professional logo and a nicely done website that tells you: I look like I was quality, order with me!


Is this the way we enter the post-factual-area or have things always been like this? And why would I be afraid of my name being published? Would my mother break out into tears once she learnt that her little JRG has become a criminal? Would angry mothers, whose children JRG poisons without knowing how dangerous these substances are, burn down his car? Will he then try his luck as a Bitcoin gambler again? Would his brother count the coins like Dustin Hoffman did in Rainman? Might I have deserved this and is money really everything?

Since chemical-collective provides no legit imprint, I googled for their company name:

Alphachain BV

Jacob founded this company in October 2019. He seems to be everywhere since, like writing emails nonstop, paying the big forums nice money for being listed as trustworthy, or in some forum to have banner ads or just paying for being allowed to have a thread of his own. These braindead fuckfaces running illegal profit-oriented forums in which they advertise drug shops and give tips on how to order to more easily bypass customs, are the worst. Complete nuts, but clever enough to make Jacob pay for a banner ad displayed right in between two ads for illicit pharmaceutics. drugbuyersguide make at least 60,000 USD per year, illicit pharmaceutics seem to be a growing business. Jacob is in the “Internet retail trade in other non-food products” business. Most drug dealers use shop fronts, however, his one is actually a real shop, funny.

Click an image to enlarge it.

SUBMIT A TIP TO DEA #drugbuyersguide

By the way, Lizard Labs would never register their shops as shops. As carwash maybe, but not as a shop. If you order from, you order from an officially registered “Wholesaler of pesticides and fertilizers”. More soon.

Comparing oneself with the mafia… No, Jack’s not that bad. He’s in his early thirties and he might have killed the Chem-Theory team, his former employer, to steal their stock and start with his Lizard Labs friends into squeezing money out of Americans junkies, but to be fair: To me he has always shown to be an intelligent, friendly, funny and honest guy. I don’t know why he would work with the mafia, greed should be treated in hospitals, it would make this paragraph a nicer place to read. And to write.

Unfortunately, after having spent so much on advertising in the US, he couldn’t spare a single sample for testing, I received exactly what I ordered and since I could only afford a small order, this thing turned out to be an extremely disappointing experience…

Click an image to enlarge it.

3 products, 2 feel like Jacob was stealing money from me, 1 is unusual but okay

The DCK felt unusual, like O-PCE in the first minutes, but then started feeling familiar. It lifts your mood and you feel alright, however, already on the second day there were hardly any effects noticeable and half a gram is fast gone.

Then the 3-FPM. This compound has been around for quite a while but I never tested it, cos Phentrazine is not a pleasure substance. And, surprise, neither is 3-FPM, it’s actually one of the worst chemicals I have ever held in hands. Do you trust reviews in internet forums? I know you do, and this thing sucks big time, trust me on that.

I also ordered two blotters of 1cP-LSD and took both at once. After two hours, I gave up, not the slightest feeling of any psychoactive effect.

After four hours, I knew, chemical-collective might have a nice website and make tens of thousands Euros each year, but he doesn’t care about quality at all. It’s all about squeezing money out of us.

It’s a facade. The big money he makes is as real as his tainted DCK, the ugly 3-FPM, and his inactive 1cP-LSD. Not to mention the prices: 15 Euros for two sheets of worthless paper? What a nerve!!!

Always on Message

Jacob is constantly writing emails and trying to entertain his customers: He donates 5% of his enormous win span to Médecins Sans Frontières, he arranges an artwork gallery competition, or a T-shirt design contest, but there is one thing he might have forgotten about:

Nothing kills a bad product faster
than good advertising.

Bill Bernbach

14 thoughts on “ – Trusted Shop Review

  1. Since Chemical Collective Joke told me no one had ever complained about his aggressive 3-FPM, I want to quote from an email I received about someone else’s experience with this shady vendor:

    << I also received from chemical collective today. Absolute garbage. Corrosive. Caustic. >>
    (August, 2019)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Another email quote from a betrayed customer about Chemical Collective Joke’s toxic substances:

      << I feel like a lot of these products are very impure. I just did a wash on ChemCollectives DCK and lost 50% product but it’s now sparkling white. >>
      (September, 2020)

      Liked by 1 person

    1. If that is the way people in Montana say thanks, I will be fine with it.

      Just because I use the term “doxxing” does not mean I actually would be doing it. I think you don’t get the point, I hope I can make it clearer:

      Jacob runs an honest business, his name and data are available on the internet and in publicly available documents etc. At the same time, he decided to buy ads on the illegal drugsbguide forum where he would advertise his legal company next to ads of illicit Mexican pharmaceutics.

      Also, on the one hand selling drugs to children and making a fortune out of it, and on the other hand telling his parents he works an honest job in marketing, was a poor performance, if you asked me.

      And no, I have no intention in reporting anybody from the Vendors list to any Narcotics officers. He had always been friendly to me, I don’t hold grudges against anyone unless they lied to me and I happened to find out – what definitely is not the case here.

      PS: I’m not a cop, I am the sheriff:



    2. I will assist Chemical Joke to stick to the law and to mention his company name and address on his website. Then you can call him a cop if you liked to. The thing is, Chemical Joke is breaking Dutch law is obliged to provide an imprint on his web shop since his company name and brand (web shop) name are not identical. These are no secrets, ask him why he would do that. Avoiding taxes? For his reputation? Did he lie when registering his company? I don’t know.

      And how about that Sherriff song, isn’t that a timeless classic 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. absolute whackjobs both in the comments and whoever wrote this shit article. do you work for TRRC? CC is the absolute go-to NL vendor today, you don’t know shit about quality either. whatd your pack not show up during corona and you’re still salty? jesus christ get a life

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good morning sucker,

      I am not affiliated with any chemical vendors or manufacturers.

      I tried to write about serious topics like minors ordering synthetic designer drugs and drug dealers being afraid of adding a full imprint to their web shops (which is illegal, by the way), also, I wanted to remind everyone that the Research Chemical industry is playing with fire when they join crooks who advertise illegal pharmaceutics.

      I tried it my way, I knew this was an unusual approach, thank you for your feedback.

      PS: Imagine your daughter, 14, overdosing on some ketamine, never been the same since. I don’t know if there are many parents wild at drug dealers who do not even perform ID checks, and check only the amount of Bitcoins, but personally, I think these RC dudes are just little shittypants. Think of a good newspaper journalist and how many people hate him for playing with their feelings (good newspapers have more than one opinion) – he is not afraid of any attacks, he is a man.

      Finally, you are welcome to write a couple more posts here to get back to level.

      I repeat: This three products I had were absolute shit. Try rarechems or homechemistry or realchems or a good Chinese lab. The Netherlands are known to not even do customs work when 1 kilo 4-MMC was coming in a rice sack directly from South Africa 😉

      PS: The comments are not classy, but being a little shittypant isn’t either.

      PPS: Thank you very much for reading and for your feedback, it means a lot to me!

      Best regards!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. PS:

        lsresearchchems, rechemco and RCBOnline offer quality products. The first shop is outstanding! Now might not be the best time to order from Asia, but when COVID-19 hopefully soon will be defeated, there is really absolutely no use in ordering from the Netherlands, if the same product is also available from a good Chinese lab.


      2. good morning schizo

        “PS: Imagine your daughter, 14, overdosing on some ketamine, never been the same since.”

        where are you even trying to go with this?? do you like drugs or not mate??

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hi cuck,

          You find yourself on the only independent and only honest and by far most comprehensive sourcing website available on this planet. It costs me more than you would guess, but it is my present to the community: Death to all scammers!

          I like a lot of things, but I am not fine with research chemical vendors selling sometimes highly toxic chemicals to teenagers. They are good at money laundering their BitCoins, but they do not find the time to check IDs?

          If the industry was less greedy and a tad more intelligent, 4-MMC would still be available. But they needed to sell it to children…

          To give you an imagination of how much money these friends of cutting agents make: A kilo (= 1,000 grams )of 4-MMC was 28 USD, the inventor of selling Mephedrone says. And still they sold to children. Just to make sure you got the relation: 1,000 grams of pure upper costed twenty-eights USD.

          I know, the Research Chemical dislikes any critique, and everything is super great. I also know that this is a lie, people just imitating others, it’s the same everywhere probably. But if I had three shit substances and spent money on it I will fucking post this until Twitter runs out of space, if I felt like it.

          PS: Your “schizo” reminded me of an old club track I’d like to share with you: Scenario Rock – Skitzo Dancer

          Liked by 1 person

      1. The catapult we ordered from the Swiss military was finally released by customs and is available via the contact form now. First comes, first serves. Since rocks turned out be unbelievable heavy you would need to collect fitting ammunition yourself, sorry. Also, steering the catapult is not as easy as expected, I would recommend practicing with a shopping cart that has a nerve-wracking left twist before ordering.

        Besides from that, the catapult is as good as new. The Swiss army told me it belonged to an old man who hardly ever used it and had parked it in his garage.

        PS: Someone asked us if he could rewrite parts of the shop review above. How funny is that???


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