Already in March, I placed a rather unusual expensive test order with The Real RC. Well, I think they did a Sellkies on me – there is a tracking number, but the parcel hasn’t moved for seven weeks. After telling the shop owner, a replacement was sent and arrived within 20 hours at my doorstep.

While the small test orders I had placed last year, after shop owner Alex had contacted me and explained that they had learned from their previous mistakes, turned out to be surprisingly good (1) and okay (2); The samples I ordered for the shop portrait/review, I would already have trashed, if it wasn’t for the sake of the blog.

I ordered different products than I would usually do:

• I spent a fortune (300 Euros) to get a hold of as many different samples as possible.

• Because I had received complaints about TRC (without providing any evidence, or details, a simple photo would have done; maybe next time?), this time, I tried substances that I am in no way familiar with or that I would never order with TRC, but expect others new to the game maybe not knowing better.

First reaction

• This could be a one-in-a-million shot, but the whole order was contaminated with something that I react strongly allergic to. It took me four days to be able to get back to the computer. I think I have successfully isolated that thing (Shout outs to mefis.to for having provided me with a REALLY air-tight bag!) and could put it in the fridge. That thing will be tested.

• Because of that contamination and because whatever they have sent for 2-FMA and Etizolam – I won’t touch those, they look ugly and do not smell or look anything like they should, and because I received a mislabeled substance (which in my book = the list design, makes them scammers, details will follow,) the shop was moved back to it’s old category: The Real RC is categorized under Avoid again.

• Since I could not work, not all pages have been updated yet. I will stop the lottery game and reduce the Thank You banners to exactly one per site, Alex had never asked for more.

What’s next

• I will work on a Trusted Shop Review which will be split in at least three articles. I thought of two gags, I find them very funny, and I hope I can make them into a video or a photo gallery to make you laugh as well. The third article will be a shop portrait as usual.

• The interview with Alex will be published as planned. If time allows, there will, in addition, a satirical (non-fictional) interview published in a separate article.

• Yes, The Real RC will make headlines in April. That had been the plan anyway, and I will stick to it, no matter what. I am not less than proud to be able to publish an interview with a player in the scene who is not just anybody, but one of the most exciting entrepreneurs in this industry of recent years. To me, he is without a doubt not just part of the history of our subculture, but he formed it, changed it, wrote it; some say, destroyed it. That he answered all questions while pathetic mini vendors like, e.g., the DutchCitySales franchise stops any conversation as soon as it would need brains to answer, might give you an idea about the people who sell you drugs. Those guys used to sell Hotdogs before they discovered a more lucrative business. Read the interview, think about and expect a surprise!

• One more order will be placed to roundup the Trusted Shop Review. I think I know why some samples look like they died in car accident; I think he did not lie about the independent testing; His A-PHP was the best one you could get these days. You know me, I would never joke about A-PHP. A lot of work to do. If we are lucky, we might find out why even parcels within the European Union seem to disappear. I might report UPS to police for fraud to find out, we’ll see.

First impressions of Earth

• A-PiHP: Underwhelming, damn weak

• Etizolam: I am not going to touch that thing. Looks like a blend of various crystals/powders.

• 2-FDCK: Looks okay, but already by looking at it you could have guessed: Seems inactive.

• NEP Crystals: Looks like a mashup of various white and transparent crystals crushed to “powder-size”. It is a Pentedron, I am pretty sure. I, however, felt only one out of four dots on my tongue, which would indicate about 10% purity. Felt inactive after all. Now you know why it takes me forever to work on a shop review: I am not only hypersensitive, I also recognize substances by the color dots I see when trying them. Wine enthusiasts will probably know: That does not work two days in a row, don’t ask me why.

• 5-Meo-DMT: I thought I had ordered a freebase, but it’s a salt. When vaping it, it disappears without producing smoke, which is interesting. Since the substance looks fresh and The Real RC’s customer base would usually be children, I think I will try it.

• MXPR: Looks surprisingly different from what I expected. It’s a creamy powder with some solid pieces inside, you can even see those through the bag. That tells me that it’s something something basically. I would rather not touch that thing, we’ll see.

• HXE: Same creamy powder with few solid “dots” in it. Might give it a try, it seems the only sample that has a smell. You heard right: Neither the allegedly Etizolam nor the allegedly 2-FMA received have a smell.

• 2-FMA: I am not going to touch that thing. Does not look like a Flour-substituted-Amphetamine, does not smell like one. It’s creamy powder.

• 3-Meo-PCP: Received a mislabeled substance. First thought it to be a typo, but it is definitely not 3-Meo-PCP.

• Pink Star Pellets: Those I didn’t order for eating, I will have them tested.

• Kratom: That thing is so going to be tested. Why? Because I am NOT allergic to Kratom at all. To this thing, however, I am – and not just a little. I had not even opened it, the bags are not air-tight sealed.

A BIG SWINDLE?

That was not the plan.

The lottery game will have winners. It’s on hold for now.

If more lottery games with The Real RC (TRC) will follow? I don’t know. I don’t want to feature a shop that sold me some shit show for Etizolam and charged me 70 Euros for it.

You know that I would love to see you next year
I hope that I am still alive next year
You magnify the way I think about myself
Before you came I rarely thought about myself

What’s my view?
Well how am I supposed to know?
Write a review
Well how objective can I be?

What happens when you lose everything
You just start again, you start all over again
What happens when you lose everything
You just start again, you start all over again

Well, you just start again

Maximo Park – Apply Some Pressure (2005)
(Archis Tiku / Paul Anthony Smith / Duncan Lloyd / Lukas Wooller / Thomas English)

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