Fucking Alpha-PHP. A bag of white powder looking like Hollywood sent selfies it took on holiday trips. [ About the New Samples Kømpliance Community idea. ]

A bag of white powder looking like hollywood said to be A-PHP (Alpha-PHP) with a "brand eins" magazine cover in the background. Issue 5 from May 2021 shows an artwork that is text only and an endless rant with lines like "fuck tinder, fuck brexit, fuck hipsters, fucking tourists, ..." etc. I added "Fucking Alpha-PHP" three times. On top of the image I added a (more or less) fictional quote by Austrian musician Boris Bukowski who was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year (2022) but he is optimistic and I so am I. I am looking forward to attending his next concert in June 2023. I added "Get wel soon". The "brand eins" magazine cover also says "fuck that shit.it's time for a new start". The bag of drugs is not the star on this artwork.
Fucking Alpha-PHP

City trips and visiting museums, enjoying the beauty of both seemingly classic paintings and pop art is how Alpha-PHP White Hollywood Powder pretends to spend weekends.

In her evenings, she pretends to read quite exciting magazines like “brand eins” from Hamburg City in Germany. Sure, we all do.


What to expect

RC SCENE is community-driven. Without your questions, complaints, stories, ideas, and motivational chants demanding more content, this could not work.

The new Samples Kømpliance Community idea is not that spectacular, actually: A few vendors seem to offer samples hoping for photos in return.

I believe they keep sending such mass emails because nobody reads their newsletters. They want photos, you want more content… Maybe this could work, I don’t know.

What else:

  1. A-PHP analog samples seem still available in small amounts. When I say so, it’s so. Still, expect a photo gallery, as usual. A few vendors until today claim they could even offer actual A-PHP in form of orange-colored powder. I don’t think so. I believe they add color to random powders.

  2. Fasten your seat belts and be prepared for a rare personal anecdote shared by the one and only modest above-average and always busy because even hardly working when on the run again (so many misunderstandings!), dear owner and, since a stoner, of course, over-performer and thus manager (CEO, CFO, head of facility management). The generous tipper will unveil never seen anywhere before lyrics of a French instrumental song that are the blueprint of RC SCENE.

  3. Relax, because there is no such thing as doxing under João’s watch! The song title “Nobody,” a French production sung in German and French at the same time, is the concept and has always been. It is our deep moral conviction that we all are nobodies. This is how we work and has nothing to do with transnational organized drug traffickers threatening to sue with maybe another idea of conviction in mind. I forgot her name, and I don’t care anyway, but that aunt from UPS Germany made even me angry, especially since everyone else at UPS seems friendly.

  4. Since you asked: There is no more EU phone number. I might live there, but I don’t speak their language. Whoever pre-records something to play it from tape when calling on Sunday mornings… Well, the assumption that small-time-crook blackmailers from Serbia might not be able to afford to call overseas has proven to be true. Don’t judge me.

  5. What else… Oh, Dagmar’s brother maybe pretended to have tried committing suicide and was found asleep on the sofa an hour after he had called and informed a “person he trusts”. Reads like a joke because everyone knows that politicians are kitties and never get anything right, but, unfortunately, really happened – and pretty much as described.

    “Heuchler” is the German word for hypocrites.

    I am not going as low as local mainstream media and/or the government’s very own(ed) public broadcasting cooperation here, who presented this unfortunate event as a “tragedy”, especially because Dagmar (from the Nazi Party) already made clear that her brother is not in a coma and that headlines claiming her slightly overweight sibling would have committed suicide insinuating he could have done something wrong and maybe tried to avoid doing prison-time — without providing any further details because of what mainstream media journalists here claim could not be done “due to respect for his family” is fucking BS and yet another, but even more disgusting than usual negative-campaigning low in politics here.

  6. This is indeed unfortunate: Tereza’s husband was diagnosed with cancer. His tour (no, they are not running for the Nazi Party, he is a musician and likes to play live) needed to be postponed to 2023.

  7. Then we have Katharina, who seems to enjoy booze in an almost reasonably responsible manner because, even though this is not quite Liverpool, you never drink alone, of course. Impressive: If you really want something, then you will even drink members of Austria Cobra elite special police force under the table. Those maybe annoy her 24/7 and at her home because her husband happens to be the head of the government.

    While, of course, nobody could want anyone, not even Austria’s Cobra elite special police force unit, going on a bender while on duty only to demolish the car when trying to find back to the Nehammers’ home, neither can you choose which of those fun to talk Cobra special police minds will be your 24/7 bodyguards.

    That sucks and was intended as a prank on former chancellor Faymann (Social Democrats), but Faymann noticed that this new law mentioned a deadline, and he did not switch bodyguards before the very last second of that deadline had passed. He soon after resigned. The bitter will be bitten.

Check out that song! It flashes so hard, that it has already been banned in Norway and you might need a VPN to access it from France, Germany, and Saudi Arabia.

BIBIZA & MOLA – A Quarter Past Four (2022)
“Adrenaline in my veins, and it hurts, but I want and will see you again.”

What Is Samples Kømpliance?
And why some of you might consider overcoming that fear of reading.

  • More and more give up their night shifts at Dutch hot-dog chains to become rich by selling poison to teenagers. One, or even two, I would not remember, RC vendors offered samples hoping for photos published here. Maybe, some of you have something like a smartphone and ideas at hand and would like to take pictures.
  • Subscribers who read this (please mind: this is only page 2 of a single article, and I need at least ten pages to test the pagination feature) and can answer two out of three questions cannot win free drugs, of course. Business-Perspective Smurf and RC SCENE already did that last year, with even the community seemingly afraid of participating.

Free drugs

  • So, no more free drugs on RC SCENE. We might shift that thing over to experts in not getting nervous: RC Vendors. No matter how generously your 5 USD subscription, thank you, by the way, please provide photos and a few words in return. You can’t bother me, but a former hot-dog salesperson is nobody I would mess with.

A questionnaire is, unfortunately, necessary because RC SCENE demands quality. Some of you already know that nobody here cares about that Oscar for the best camera you won two years ago – If you don’t understand that powder is boring to look at today, please don’t waste your time.

For everyone else, my dear friends, brothers & sisters, dear white trash junkie crowd: Please find details below. I will try to assist you and will not ask for your details.

Please note: I usually refuse samples offered, and I have not spoken to any vendors yet. If three, or maybe even three and a half sample packs, coupon codes or whatever – I wouldn’t know; There is no way that every subscriber could receive something!


Käptn Peng & Die Tentakel von Delphi – Der Anfang ist nah (2013)
“Reality is nothing but a dream after all.”

Contents


Angry, not envy.

City trips and visiting museums, enjoying the beauty of both seemingly classic paintings and pop art is how Alpha-PHP White Hollywood Powder pretends to spend weekends.

That Dasiy is a phony if you asked me. We all know that nobody in the industry has ever been to a museum.

Needless to say that traveling to Switzerland in times of, according to the British Guardian, a “global” cost of living crisis, if not even a “global emergency” or “pandemic”, has not even been White Hollywood Powder’s most lavishly holiday highlight lately.

Since I have spent years spending all my money on her, she can easily afford a flight to New York. Global warming does not matter to A-PHP White Hollywood Powder. Not quite a fan of Fridays for Future, she would sometimes even yell at young people who protest for the world to wake up and finally do something about planet Earth dying.

I usually wouldn’t care about any A-PHP flying overseas and unnecessarily polluting the air only to take a selfie during a parade with thousands of balloons in the air. Unfortunately, our only planet earth will become a desert a lot sooner than anyone will ever make it to the moon.

Permafrost and plans made in Austria

You might be aware that Russia is rich in seldom metals and gold and oil that cannot yet be exploited because these fields are in the North, so far north you cannot live. Polar bears live there.

In school, they used to tell us it would only be a matter of time until global warming will have made the eternal ice melt and Russia rich beyond imagination. Well, according to Greenpeace, that ice better not ever melts and not even a little. Ice becoming water will flood parts of Africa and Europe, and whole countries will disappear just like in the Atlantis saga – but for real and ever.

Even worse: According to Wikipedia, that frozen ground is called “Permafrost” and contains large amounts of decomposed biomass (..) stored n the form of methane and carbon dioxide, making tundra soil [like in Sibir, ed.] a carbon sink.”

You probably remember Methane from a somewhat unusual discussion about how the cows you breed and murder for meat to stuff your burgers would heavily pollute the environment. That discussion was not silly at all: Methane heats up the climate 30 times faster than Carbondoxide CO2 does. If that ice should melt, it’s game over.

Kalokagathia – Do beauty and noble ever occur together?

Plants already today bloom like there was no tomorrow, and this is unusual, all at the same time. That seems true here everywhere. However, some make it onto TV because they are so proud of how beautifully their gardens look with everything in bloom.

An expert, who also happens to be a member of the parliament, however, is not happy with everything in bloom at the same time because plants do that knowing they cannot handle this abrupt change in temperature and climate. They bloom like there was no tomorrow because they hope for their “children”, the next generation of plants, to be able to adapt (and survive).

Such information gap and our tendency to believe nicely-looking would always be good (and healthy) is no news. You cannot blame so-called filter bubbles, usually referring to Social Media these days. It has always been like this. Philosophers in Ancient Greek, about 2,400 years ago, already described that truth, beauty, and good/noble would be an ideal desirable and (ideally) occur together, which means nothing less than if not good-looking, nobody will listen to or even believe what you say.

Kalokagathia describes an assumption, an ideal, and a thinking mistake that we can hardly resist: The unity of beauty and good. With my ugly radio face, writing is the only option. I am not assuming, though, but found out the hard way.

The information gap problem is something that those with access to education and options (aka wealthy parents) do not even dream about ever doing something about. No way, José!

I am not any better: If I were handsome, I’d be the worst. I would not share my future YouTube millions with Marc and his girlfriend. I would not need them, and solidarity or nonsense like humans being social and seeking friends is not reality, not where I live. My first thought had not even the money, but the girl, of course. Gladly, you are a lot better, no? I just wanna be adored. 😉

Friedrich Nietzsche basically said that whoever claims to be a philosopher and believes in or even spreads BS like beautiful also meant good should be kicked in the teeth. Not quite a mainstream pop culture icon. Not broadly discussed here, not where I live.

Why would I mention this? Because Putin, a deadly handsome man, and Trump, a daddy’s bad boy, seem successful and whatever you might see in and love them for, so you never wondered if not maybe a little too nuts to be in charge of anything like, e.g., some of the biggest countries and military and nuclear weapons?

Where I come from, we used to be blinded by uniforms, be it a suit and a tie. By the way: Who do you think would win this fight: The priest or a cop?

(Dog Waldorff)
Queens of the Stone Age – Kalopisa (2013)
MM – We are the Disposable Teens (2000) [Holy Wood]

Back to Austria and their genial plans for the future:

A few years ago, an architect team from Austria presented designs for cities that looked like malls and should have been built underground in Russia, allegedly near profitable mines in forbidding areas like Sibir. Those cities did not look as if they had been planned for mine workers, the illustrations clearly showed luxurious places.

Russia exploiting oil and gas fields, not giving a shit about rusty or leaking pipes and causing ecocide because countries like Austria pay good money for gas, seemingly still cheap enough to waste it for producing electricity to heat glasshouses in the middle of nowhere to grow summer vegetables also in Winter is still happening.

Austrians had obviously not been aware that pollution is never a local issue in some faraway place but that, in fact, even the rainforest in Brazil has an immense impact on the weather and climate here and everywhere.

Maybe they did not care and planned to move into luxury holes together with other Russian Oligarchs. Why else would they advertise such in local newspapers?

Leyya – Zoo (live in a glass house in Bavaria in 2018)
Leyya – Superego (2015)

Finally, maybe, but not funny at all

With the Austrian Conservative Party preparing for prison and/or at court or on the run, I don’t exactly remember, over countless corruption cases, and – this is unusual: after a coup-like attempt to take over and down the justice system, things here seem to change a little, although not clear what to expect.

An example: Putin summoned the Austrian head of government, Nehammer, to Moscow, and Karl Nehammer does not seem the same since. He says things like, “All that deadly COVID virus around, haha, now it does not make a difference anymore“, or “Politics? Alcohol and Psychopharmaka“. Live on camera, of course.

His private life is nobody’s business, of course. Irresponsible alcohol abuse while at work and carrying a loaded gun, and having had an accident, was big in the news, still.

In Austria, there is no such thing as independent media. Relevant media here would usually be controlled by the government (e.g. ORF, Kurier, NÖN) or heavily rely on the government to book advertisements (Krone, Die Presse, Der Standard, you name them…).

This is so sad that although being slightly profitable, newspapers like Die Presse consider themselves making a loss. There are no guidelines for the government about where, why, when, and how much to spend on advertising -or not. If you happened to occasionally investigate corruption cases as Der Falter does, then better be prepared to not receive a single cent from whenever the Corruption Party and the Nazi Party should form a coalition again.

If an editor-in-chief values the beauty of wealth, they have proven to be creative with stunning headlines like “Pets would vote for Faymann” in huge letters on the cover of the best-selling newspaper here.

Cari Cari – Summer Sun (2018)

Austria’s chancellor & Cobra police elite

Two of Nehammer’s bodyguards, members of said-to-be the very elite special unit of the police here, namely Cobra, allegedly among the best of the best law enforcment heroes on this planet, recently were involved in an accident under the influence and while at work.

Evenings with booze seem business as usual for elite police Cobra superheroes. According to a police spokesperson, however, leaving the house to go on a bender to get even more wasted, and, especially, demolishing a car when trying to make it back to Nehammer’s home where they are supposed to protect our head of government 24/7, would not have been a daily ritual.

Hańba! – Racyje (2017)

Austria & Russian gas: Take-or-Pay until 2040.

Anyhow, Vienna and Lower Austria recently announced to make electricity so expensive that nobody will consider wasting energy for heating fields and glass houses in the middle of nowhere only to grow tomatoes also in Winter clever because profitable any longer.

Please note: While electricity will become more expensive everywhere that is nothing anybody could want or even have planned because not popular at all. That the only person I know who heats fields/glasshouses to grow tomatoes in Winter shared that her contract with the electricity provider would guarantee a fixed price until September (two more weeks to go) and that Vienna, Lower Austria and Burgenland would usually align prices, but this time don’t, maybe because there is nobody in Burgenland growing tomatoes in Winter, is a humoristic interpretation of random newspapers headlines – but definitely not reality. No politician hoping to be re-elected would make basic needs like electricity become more expensive unless an emergency situation forced them to. We love farmers, and we rely on food even more than on gas from Russia.

Farmers in Upper Austria, however, also heat their glasshouses in Winter, but without wasting electricity. They seem to dig a hole to pump warm air from below through their glasshouses and back again in circles (don’t ask, I eat them, I don’t grow them), which at least to me seems a sane and modern and climate-friendly approach. That I can get these Upper-Austrian tomatoes in supermarkets also here almost seems to me as if that could work on a larger scale and be the future of growing tomatoes in Winter.

Again: The tomatoes-part of this article about A-PHP White Hollywood Powder selfies, and introducing the brand-new Samples Kømpliance Photo Community idea is obviously ironic. If not obvious enough, then now you know.

Just in case: This is my diary. I am aware of pen and paper, of course. Paper is not the problem. Somebody seems to have bought-up all ballpoint pens.

Five red tomatoes on white kitchen paper
Bloody tomatoes!

Putin already helped our storytelling and reduced the amount of gas he delivers here. Wouldn’t he need the money to finance his war(s) against Europe? Sure. Clever Austria, however, signed a contract to pay for gas until 2040, no matter if we even imported any. They call it the “Take-or-Pay” clause.

Interesting: They signed this agreement only last year while at the same time pretending to have understood that we used to have snowy winters, lying to us about wanting to replace fossil energy with renewable methods and even with results to expect by 2030.

The industry buying governments to distract us with whatever baloney I would have called a conspiracy theory not long ago. That some had already made plans to move into luxury holes seemed absurd.

Blame it on my crack pipe.

EsraP & Gasmac Gilmore – Freunde Dabei (2019)

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