Kømpliance

Compliance Detail

When money is shitting right in your face.

Adidas, Nike, Apple, Facebook/Instagram/WhatsApp/Meta, Amazon, Blood Diamonds Antwerp, the people of Denmark, H&M, Wall-Mart, US DOH, Billabong, etc., all play the same game.

Whenever they pretend to allow questions about the crimes against humanity these fine gentlemen commit, they consistently mention high ethical standards and their compliance departments.

An example: 200 Chinese children caught fire and died. That’s sad. Nobody cares about enslaved children exploited in sweatshops as long as they sew Levi’s jeans 20 hours a day before Nike allows them 4 hours of sleep on the ground. Nobody knows them because we like to play stupid. Of course, we have heard about and seen them repeatedly.

A currency thing, maybe?

We fear our beloved sneakers could become more expensive if we forced Amazon to pay minimum wages.

That is complete bullshit! If your sneakers cost 70 or 200 USD, producing and shipping them around the globe was less than 60 Cents. Tripling the income of sweatshop workers would be something like 40 cents.

I know. Poor you, you could not afford to free the slaves who assemble your smartphones. 40 cents to give them back their dignity is nothing you could even waste a second thinking about.

Why don’t we feel dirty wearing blood sneakers?

Because we believe in god and guns and sub-contractors!

Adidas says, they would not enslave children. In fact, they do not even produce sneakers. They say that factory owners in emerging countries would constantly offer Adidas sneakers and ask Adidas if they maybe were interested in ordering some.

Adidas, not stupid, recognize a chance if they see one made contracts with such factory owners. They agree on all the important details like the price and yearly output. Something like 300,000 new Adidas tees, 30 Cents each, must be ready for shipping no later than September and sold exclusively to Adidas documented in black on white.

When Tommy Hilfiger was asked about unfortunate events (children burnt alive in an illegal Billabong factory in Asia again), Tommy held a lecture above high ethical standards. According to the H&M compliance department, Zara does neither own nor operate any factories. Gucci receive their products from sub-contractors that may or may not manufacture things in factories.

Of course, what these contractors do is their business, and Chanel could not influence whatever random companies in faraway countries may or may not do.

Important to know: Their apparel is hip and politically correct. Next Friday, your friends will envy you when you gather once again to remind the planet that there is no future, only history repeating.

Kømpliance Inc.

Kømpliance, just in case, is spelled with a K and an ø because nobody here is with your monkey business.

Kømpliance means a commitment to transparency. Kømpliance does not mean any of my addresses, names, passport numbers, or photos shared via Facebook again – can’t be done. They would lock me up for being stupid again. Unfortunately, locking up René implies a particular facility right around the corner (we are basically neighbors) that pretends to be a hospital but has all the doors locked.

An awkward detail: All the radios there are hidden in locked cupboards and used to play white noise because the doctors’ favorite radio station had been shut down in 1945. Somebody fixed that. Based on feedback provided by fellow patients, we have one room silent (to calm down when sad or angry) and another one painting pictures (to remember ourselves that we are not in the placebo group) now.

Kømpliance means the community warning the community against, e.g., outrageous stupidity as discovered with certain vendors.

Kømpliance, again, is spelled wit a K and and ø because moncey business is a completely different thing.

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